Rants About...

Rants About...Anti-Gamers

2006-04-02T00:35:00.000-08:00

I have really gotten pissed at one single thing. The illogical techno-retards who blame teenage violence on video games. They rant about everything to do with video games, from Dance Dance Revolution (or Dance Dance Retribution as I call it) to S.S.B.M. Like, WTF? Granted that games like GTA don't really set a good image for youth (beating up hookers, commiting felony, etc), but then again, Why the bloody F*** are there 13 year olds playing GTA?
And has anyone noticed that most of the video game induced violence is in the USA? I mean, imagine a 12 year old asian running around with a pistol. Not going to happen. And might I point to the fact that most of the violent video games are made in the USA? See the leetle similarity? Blaming video games for teen violence is like blaming the car industry for the car accidents.
They seem to believe that the goal of the game is to push as much blame on video games as possible. Bonus points if u manage to blame World War II on video games.
I know that common sense doesnt apply to these guys, but i can also get statistics and professional opinions like them.
My name is SPASK, I'm a 13 year old gamer. I have played every violent game created in my 13 year old history and i can safely say that nothing wrong has happened to me. There are millions of gamers like me and we're getting sick of people like you blaming every single problem on gamers like us. Ignorance causes violence, not video games. Man up and take responsibility.
We outnumber you and people that think like you. DON'T GODDAMN FUCK WITH US.

Tribute to the Teacher that made it all so good

2006-03-04T00:08:00.000-08:00

This is a poem written for Mr. Kenneth Lo, the teacher that will soon be a lawyer.

Kenneth Lo, o smith of words
And humour soft yet manic.
We thank you much for everything
and advice that we not panic.

Leon is big as you once had stated
Is a point we'd not dispute
But Leon is not as big as say
The rib-pains you made acute.

Vinodhan which belonged in Bollywood
Was again, was almost just as good.
But then the jokes came to this rapist
Which all of us nearly got the gist.

Than the spammer and the stripper
And then mad scientists by the ton.
Posers which also doubled as ruggers
Again made class just twice as fun.

But then it came onto the man on the chair
Who had something as big as Leon-his hair
And twenty dollar charges to the barber
Which made Poser look retarded- rather!

And so it comes to this dear sir
But I think we'll see you again
As we meet for tea and crumpets as
We watch the universe end.

A tribute to the dearly loved and soon-to-be missed, Mr S S Cool Raj!

Chuck Norris

2006-02-25T04:04:00.000-08:00

Today I was scheduled to post another rant. But due to my huge amount of filing and homework, will just place some really funny stuff.

1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.

2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

8. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Additional Chuck Norris Facts

* Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

* Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

* Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

* The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.

* If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds ’til.” After you ask, “Two seconds ’til what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

* Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

* Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

* There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

* Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

* Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

* Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

* When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

* The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.

* A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

* Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

* Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

* Chuck Norris originally appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”

* The opening scene of the movie “Saving Private Ryan” is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

* Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

* Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth’s atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

* Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

* Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren’t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

* Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

* Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris

* Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle — you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

* Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.

* Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.

* If you say Chuck Norris’ name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.

* Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

* The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

* In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

* Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

* Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

* Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell them there was a stripper in it.

* Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

* Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

* Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

* As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

* Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a “Who has more testicles?” contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

Rants About...Irony

2006-02-19T03:05:00.000-08:00

Today, instead of complaining about other people which I don't know, i shall now talk about my life and the irony involved.

First, the present. I never really wanted to go into Hockey but just decided to try out for it, due to the pressure on my friends Derek Hum and Joel Ang. I mean, I didn't care much about hockey, just decided with Joel and Derek that we would be joining both Hockey and NCC (Land) together. So the perfect setting would be that the three of us would be in the same CCAs together, thus having a greater relationship.

However, the reality is completely different. I'm the only one in hockey now. Of the three of us, only Joel is in NCC. Derek is in Canoeing (a stupid sport) and Scouts (which, ironically, was my original choice of UYO), Joel is in NCC and is presently contemplating whether to join hockey, but seeing how fickle he is, he wouldn't join. I'm in the school band and hockey, two CCAs that I never wanted. However, now I'm stuck with them. God works in wondrous ways...

Now for my CLASS life. I never particularly liked either Jeremiah or Darren. Truth be told, at the first impression I thought they were retards. However, they both switched places to a seat next to me. Thus, with my honour and pride, I took them under my wing and protected them, gaining enemies in the process. Irony...we meet again you sadistic bitch...

Sigh...irony is God's way of saying "What goes around, comes around, so don't get cocky."

Rants About...Western Culture AGAIN

2006-02-16T03:43:00.000-08:00

The past post was about the intrusion of the West in our Eastern Culture. This post is just about their lifestyle.

First, why do Americans care so much about weight and appearance? God gave you a body, a body in the image of the Most Heavenly. Why change it? In the West people would rather pay thousands for plastic surgery and a diet plan than to just work out everyday for free. Hell, you can lose weight and save money too. Just eat less. Instead of 10 double cheeseburgers, have just ONE. ONE cheeseburger. Sure, its not that healthy but at least its a cutdown. So you save like 90% on your meals. You're full, you have extra money to but clothing and other shit to make you look pretty. And if you have the time to go for slimming treatments, just cancel those treatments and work out. Instead of the bus, walk or jog to work/school. Instead of driving all the way to your favorite restaurant, go and find a health food centre and buy some stuff back. Sure, it tastes like shit but you'll get used to it. It might cost more, but just think of the money you're saving!

And another thing that irks me to no end, the Atkins Diet. Still in practice today, the main idea is just to cut down on your carbohydrates and then eat normally, in moderation. But no... those illiterate Americans have to cut off their carbohydrates intake completly, and then pig out on ice cream and burgers. And when they still gain weight, they blame it on the diet. Hoo boy.

Some health-conscious Americans also try not too take in so much fat. Good in theory. But then, they are so LAZY till the point that they want the chef to remove every trace of fat from the food. I mean, if there's fat on your steak, cut it off! One slice, painless. The steak won't feel it. If there is fat on your chicken, just peel it off. The skin has all the fat, so just peel it off. Once again, painless.

Now, back to the issue of the Australian protests. They ranted about the unfair treatment of the Thai and then even their Prime Minister wanted to boycott relations with us. Now, in Indonesia, a more backward country, executed two Australians for drug smuggling. They used the firing squad, we would have hanged them. Now the Australians don't even give a shit. The Prime Minister even warned the public not to do something so stupid as to peddle drugs like the executed. Holy shit. What the GODDAMN hell is going on? Australians were also killed in the Bali Bombings, the Aussies close one eye. TWO Aussies got killed by firing squad, the Aussies close both eyes. The Singaporeans hang just one little drug peddler, the Aussies open both eyes, flex their muscles, opened their huge mouth and dragged us in a huge firefight. WTF?

Now with that little tidbit of the Aussies, I bid you farewell, good night. Peace, Out!

Rants about... Western Culture

2006-01-11T03:43:00.000-08:00

Now let me get this clear. I like western culture. The dances, the songs, the poetry, the hamburgers... but when it just gets too far, I really get pissed. The culture of the West has penetrated our society since the British colonized us. They gave us the idea of Western Supremacy. They treated us like slaves, looked down upon us and the only reason we endured that was due to the fact that without the British, life would be worse.

Then we were liberated. We still worked hard, but then we also were happy. No one could treat us like dirt anymore. Anyone who did so gave the victim a reason to kick his ass or shoot him. That, I tell you, was freedom.

We thought we were liberated from Western Culture when the British lost us in WWII. A 'liberation' war to say the least. It was both a blessing and a curse. We were tortured, but this time under an Asian race. Much better than a English one.

In the 90s, we were subject of something called the 'Michael Faye Incident'. Just because some little bugger vandalized a car and got caned meant that the USA should call us a uncultured little barbaric country. Michael Faye violated the law. If we say he should be caned, he will be caned. The most ridiculous defense is that 'it will cause further PSYCHLOGICAL damage'. And getting jailed won't? They should just stop punishing criminals as punishments will cause 'further psychological harm' to the criminals. Bullshit.

Presently, we executed a Australian guy whose name sounds Thai. He was caught carrying drugs. We had to kill him. That amount of drugs would provide fixes for a few hundred addicts. We killed one person. We spared the suffering of a few hundred. Reasonable. However the Aussies wanted the scenario below. We spare one person. We then let hundreds of junkies continue suffering. Besides, they're not Australian citizens, right? Again, bullshit.

If we want to kill someone for violating our laws, its our problem. You want to spare someone's life, do it in your own country. Don't come crying to us because your law-violating citizen just had to come here to violate laws.

Rants About...Smoking

2006-01-10T20:02:00.000-08:00

This is not a blog as in a web diary. It is a blog for me to let loose my feelings on certain items in our everyday life. Today I will be ranting about...Smoking.

Smoking. One of the allowed drugs in our beloved Singapore, next being caffiene and alcohol. Smoking kills off millions every year and yet the governments around the world still won't allow it, due to the fact that it supplies millions of jobs a year. Wow. You help millions of people get their life back, and take it away from said millions. This is how the Government works. Brilliant.

What pisses me off most of all is why do people goddamn want to take up smoking in the first place? Hell, we get shitloads of people to come to our school and preach about the dangers of smoking almost every year. Then why do people smoke? When you smoke, you look like a retard that belches out smoke. I for one cannot stand the smell of smoke. I either hold my breath and walk as fast as I can towards the nearest smoke-free area. Then the smokers bring it up a notch. They then adopt phony poses that make them look 'sophisicated', 'macho', 'cool', 'sauve'...the list goes on and on. And let me say something. THOSE POSES DO NOT GODDAMN WORK!

Then the worst part is what they do with the cigarette butts. The smokers can keep grinding the butt till it's time to light up another. They miss the ashtray completely and continue to light up new ones. The whole table is now covered in ash. But the worst is when they grind the butt ON YOUR FOOD. Let me repeat, ON YOUR FOOD. Be it ice cream or mashed potatoes or steak or whatever, they miss the ashtray and dump it on their food. Then they EAT it without noticing. Disgusting.

Smoking is everywhere, from the kopitiam to the teahouse. It permeates our lifes. It is still a wonder that the Singapore government, which banned CHEWING GUM, still allows cigarettes and tobacco in Singapore. It kills up millions of smokers every year, kills off another few millions who are non-smokers (a result of second-hand smoke) and just boosts our economy. Is a slight jump in the economy worth killing off millions every year? The government had better do something fast, if not there won't even be a government.